It’s 5 am and I’m sat down stairs struggling to breathe whilst tearing my poor throat apart coughing. I need to get better now plzkthx

The diet is going extremely well, aided by my complete lack of energy and unwillingness to cook

Sick as a dog but dieting like some kind of awesome goddess of diety goodness!

is it, that every single time I embark on a new fitness regime/diet etc, I get ill. This makes no sense to me. It is clearly some kind of subconscious sabotage, but I just can’t understand why my subconscious wants me to be fat.

Is it like the nasty little nicotine monster who talks you into smoking when you want to quit? Is it that my subconscious and I simply don’t get on and it’s out to get me? Do I somehow feel safer at this size? If I could understand this, maybe I could fix it.

Yeah, so needless to say, I’m sick again. I’m having to do my best to ignore it and fight through as my husband is in a bad way with different health problems and needs me now more than ever to be able to shoulder the day to day things as well as be there for him emotionally.

I’ve stuck to my food plan all day without difficulty but exercise is once more out of the equation, I almost feinted just from straightening up the kitchen.

Time to be a soldier.

Wish me luck.

Okay, so the thinking slimmer thing has helped me to cut back on the snacking and binging problems and that is great, but I need more, so I’m going back on a diet as of today whilst still applying the conscious eating thang.

I am sick and tired of seeing photos of myself that do not match the me in my head, it’s embarrassing and disgusting

I’ve been half assing this shit for a year now and I’m done with it. I WANT TO BE SLIM AGAIN!!!!! I HATE being fat. I want my husband and daughter to be proud of me and people to look at me and say “Wow, she really can do anything if she puts her mind to it!” instead of, “Oh look, Debbie is about to fail another diet.”

I want to feel the pride I felt when I managed to quit smoking. I want to be able to buy nice clothes, or even occasionally borrow my daughter’s clothes. I want to stop having to hide whenever a camera is being waved about.

There is nothing about the way my body looks now that is even remotely acceptable and I am no longer going to shrug it off and pretend I’m ok with it.

I don’t want to ever make an excuse about my weight again.

I no longer want to feel like crying when I look at photos of me now and then.

I want more than anything else to feel confident about myself for the very first time in my life.

I need this.